What's going on?

by Mandy
(Kent)

After 24 years together, my husband announced that he was leaving for someone else. He loved me, but was not in love with me anymore. There was no signs, no clues to him going. He has since, after 14 weeks made excuses to come round and even told me he still loves me and misses me, but he loves her like he used to love me. How can he love her that much and still love me, he even came back for a few days, but said he loved her too much, then went again. What is going on with him. He even shops at our local centre rather than staying away. Why???

Noel's response

It sounds as though he is going through a midlife crisis (not just a transition), and is confused himself about what he is doing. He is probably telling you the truth when he says he loves you, and he may well believe his 'love' for the other woman is real when it is most likely simply the kind of lust the two of you felt for each other years ago. Men often confuse love with lust.