when the husband does strange things.

by emma
(surrey)

QUESTION:

I am married for the last 12 years, and my husband, I think, is having a midlife crises. He does things that make me feel that he has another women in his life. He has strange numbers in his mobail, wants some private time for him self, loss of intrest in sex, hiding all his bank and phone statments from me.

I feel he has no interest in me, always blames me, I am trying to keep him happy but I don't feel any response. Advise me please what to do.

NOEL'S ANSWER:

Perhaps the first thing to do is find out (hire a private detective?) whether your husband is having an affair.

If he is, confront him with it, and tell hime what you want, such as demanding he end the affair, or you will end the marriage.

You might also speak to a lawyer to take preventive action to protect yourself financially in case he is having and affair and plans to leave you.

You might also get some counselling to help your figure out what you want in your life (e.g. what you are looking for in a relationship) so that you can begin getting what your want, rather than waiting to see what he does.

It is a very difficult situation, but positive action on your behalf is the best way to move forward in your life, and be prepared for whatever comes in your relationship with him.

Noel

Comments for when the husband does strange things.

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Aug 19, 2010
Is it midlife crisis
by: Anonymous

Emma I am with you on that one. My husband is a military soldier and he has been in the military for 21 years and we have two beautiful children.

We were recently apart due to the military for two years and on New Years Day he called me from Hawaii and said he wanted a divorce. He told me he was not happy and had not been happy for years and we should never have gotten married.

He started doing strange things like taking trips, Hawaii in which I did not know, spending lots of money traveling. He graduated with his Masters degree in May and did not want his family there, he flew to Dallas to start a supplement/vitamin business with her and he has been flying to see her and conversing with her throughout the day for hours.

When we do see each other she calls him all the time and he has a certain ringtone when she calls. I told him to at least show me some respect by not feeling he has to answer the phone when she calls. He tries to play it off like they are talking business, but I know better.

He has taken Caribbean trips with her and I think he joined the business so they can be together without any questions asked. It is just crazy because of the things he is doing is well out of his character.

I want to believe it is a midlife crisis because just last year, he wanted to do whatever it took to make it work. He even withdrew from our friends and family and stopped coming home regularly. What do you think?


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