why am i jealous & how do i stop it?

by hook

Weird situation. Approx. 15 to 18 yrs, ago I began seeing a girl I knew in high school. She is also the ex wife of my best friend. (who I also went to school with)Timeline:3 of us grad. together in '76. Haven't seen either since. Till"92 when i met up with her.(stay with me it gets interesting). tween 76 and 95 she and him apparently got married, had two kids,(boy&girl), then divorced.I briefly met his kids when they were about 15. fast forward to 2008. X-mas time. my buddy says to me, remember my daughter/?(ya,skinny kid bout 13)) vicky? Here she is. not really expecting much I slowly raised up my head, only to see a pair of stilettos, tucked in tight jeans. Their daughter grew up to be one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen. Her dad now lives in the same apt., complex as i do., right across from me. bout a year ago she started showing up at my place, wanting to crash. Ok, no problem. Long story short, me and her have so much time together that we have grown to changing clothes in front of each other.I dont see her as my best friends little girl no longer, she has become my best friends (one of). I've developed feelings for my friends daughter, whose mother I went out with/and is 25 yrs., younger. It's hard not to when any two people have that "kind" of time to spend together. We've never had sex, she's afraid of the consequences and it would make things a little awkward. Only now she has been seeing this guy and I haven't heard a word from her since. No text no phone nothing. Feel very used, like a fool. Why would she do that? I've also got this jealousy goin on, why? I'm 54, i've gone thru and dealt with these emotions before. this beautiful woman comes in and out of my life like some will o' the wisp. leaving me to feel emotionally crippled. I guess only time can heal this one.thanks for listening t

Noel's response

It sounds as though you are feeling betrayed, more than jealous. You may have thought you were more 'special' to her than she is treating you. She is, after all, a young woman, and although no doubt she likes, appreciates and respects you, if she has a new boy friend, she may be 'head over heals' as the saying goes, and not have time for anyone else at the moment.