Why did he leave me, and marry the other woman?

by shirley
(england)

Hi noel,

My husband was on midlife crisis five years ago, but was seeing another woman he left and got a flat for 12 months, then moved in with her, we are now divorced, and this year they got married. Told my daughter the reason was financial. Why did he have to marry when he knew that would upset all the family? I still love him, and feel now i have lost that bit of life line i was holding onto. He till keeps my number on his phone,occasionally i text him, but can't help being this bitter person, because of what he has done now. He answers back. obviously she does not know he has been texting back to me now for the last 2 years and i have been texting to him since he left. Can't understand why he had to marry, when we was both upset with the divorce. He has never said he loves her, but is he trying to ease the pain. Or was it the other woman's manipulation, I know he would not of wanted this, but he has always been quite vulnerable.
I feel now i have lost him completely now. why do they give up a marriage of 32 years with a very loving family to remarry again?

Noel's response

I don't know the answers to your questions. He got married for reasons of his own, whether he wanted to was persuaded to.

Your task is to try to forgive him for leaving and move on with your own life. Being bitter only hurts you, not him or his new wife.

I also suggest you stop texting him, and answering his texts to you - unless they have to do with your daughter - as that will just keep you hanging on and being bitter.

He is gone. Carry on with your life.