why do men in their late 40s want to date but not commit?

by Regina
(Wisconsin)

My friends and I are in our middle 40s. The men we meet are typically the same. They all want to date, have fun but are not ready to commit even after a year of dating. The responses are usually about "having to find themselves first" or "marriage changes people." "Lets just stay the way we are and see what happens." In my opinion, this is not normal. I believe if a man wants to commit, he would. I think this a selfish age for men to sew their oats and think of them first. They are looking for that ideal women this time around and start stereotyping all women in one category that reminds them of their past. Is this all normal??

Noel's response

I don't know whether it is 'normal', but if you and your friends are finding all the men you date act that way, then I suppose it must be.

These men are at an age when they should be looking inside rather than outside. They have an idealized vision of a woman which they try to project onto the women around them rather than develop their own 'inner feminine'.

It also does not occur to most men that to attract the 'ideal woman', they must become the 'ideal man'.