Wife moved out after losing pregnancy

by Jon
(PA)

My wife and I have been together for 4 years. Two years ago,we became pregnant, but lost the pregnancy due to ectopic. It was a very traumatic event in many ways, but over the last two years, she became more and more distant from me. She was not able to experience any happiness, never laughed or even smiled really. I continued to ask her what's wrong?, if she still loves me, etc, with very little response from her. Eventually, I lost my patience in frustration and yelled at her and acted out.


She told me she was leaving, in my extreme frustration, I told her good, go now. 2 weeks later, she told me that she rented a place and moved out.

She claims that she is living away from me temporarily to heal emotionally, but she took most of her possessions, changed her address officially, has not told me where she lives, and has not spoken to me directly since.

It's very difficult for me to remain positive and expect her to someday come back.

How should a guy like me try to remain positive, yet live some type of life for myself while she is unsure if and when she will ever come back?

I need to take care of myself, yet, I also want to be sensitive to her extreme pain and emotional distress.

Noel's response

I suggest you move on with your life. If she has moved away and not given you her address, or communicated with you in any way, it does not suggest she is coming back. If she does some day, you would then have to decide whether you want her back.

Comments for Wife moved out after losing pregnancy

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Nov 25, 2012
Wife moved out after losing pregnancy
by: NWF

Hello,
Please check out this web site: midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com. She may not be having a MLC but her sypmtoms need the same sort of attention. Give her love, understanding, room to deal with her loss, and no emotional stuff right now. She is very confused. Tell her that you do not want a D; at least wait on that issue until she feels better later. She can always file for a divorce later. No need to rush.
HUGS for you and hang in there for her. Do not run so fast after only 4 years of marriage. She needs to know that you will be there when she recovers from this. Again, hugs for you.

Nov 25, 2012
Nearly 3 months ago
by: Jon

Thanks Noel for posting my story and for your comments. She and I have communicated a few times in recent weeks, however, she told me that she is not able to try to repair our relationship. We are beginning the process of divorce. It has been very difficult for me to lose my love this way. I have experienced a million different feelings. I am still sad, but now more able to let go. I'm now more used to living without her and trying to move on with my life. At this point, I am anxious to have some things closed up so I can continue to return to my true self.

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