Will he ever come back?

we were married early (aged 21) and have been so for 13 years. he has always been logical in his decision-makings, he was a bull. two years ago he re-established contact with a female workmate and they got hook on reading tarot cards and other cosmic/astrological stuff. then, he joined her in cosplays, decided to learn how to surf and then enroll in a self-defense class.


i was able to view their chats and he told her he loved her and wanted to be with her. after several arguments, he decided to leave - went to live and work seven hours away from us and live thirty minutes away from the woman. he told me that i should move on and not focus my life around him like i have always been doing. he said that he was keeping tabs on what i have done wrong, especially during the last four years of our married life.

admittedly, i was a doormat to him, i made his coffee everyday, prepared his bath, etc. but, academically, professionally, i was able to achieve more than he. our children are aged 12, 9 and 5; i decided to resign and do work-at-home jobs just so i would be able to care for the kids.

after two months of being apart, i went to see him to declare that i want to fix things up - repair our relationship. he agreed; told me that the woman was out of the picture, we had great sex and went out to dinner. i went back home feeling a little more optimistic then he calls me saying that that was the last time we would ever have physical contact for now; that marriage vows are no longer appropriate for us because we have entirely different views and that our lives would be better off without each other.

i am confused, distraught, heartbroken and depressed. our eldest attempted to strangle herself and was writing negative entries about hating her family in her diary. i try to support my children the best way i could - emotionally, physically, financially, spiritually; however, there are times when i really feel the burn...

my husband told me that there is still a slim chance that we would be getting back together - it depends on whatever other-dimensional advice he would receive. i know he is undergoing a phase - i just don't know for how long the process would be...

how could he just leave like that? do you think he has no emotional attachments whatsoever with our children? he used to be a doting father...

Noel's response

There is no way to know what he is thinking, or whether he will come back. I suggest you take his suggestion and get on with your life, possibly including some counseling so you are no longer a doormat to anyone.
If he is not paying child support, make sure he starts. If he resists, get a lawyer after him. Leaving doesn't relieve him of his duty to his children.

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