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Will he get back to being the man he was?

My husband of 29 years has been depressed for 2 years. I now believe it is depression and midlife crisis. He says he hates our lifestyle, our furniture, our home everything we picked out together. He left 3 months ago and now says he wants a divorce but is going to counseling with me. He has no interest in sex whatsoever does not even like to be touched. He acts caring in some ways but then like a stranger in other ways. I still truly love him and pray every day that he will get out of this depression/midlife crisis. He says he is happy on his own but when I see him he does not appear happy to me. In fact, he will many times breakdown and cry. My question is - will he ever return to the man I married? Am I just wishing and hoping for nothing? Your input is greatly appreciated.


Noel's response

Is he on an anti-depressant? If not, he should see his doctor and get a prescription. It will likely make a big difference.

As to whether he will return to the man you married - I don't think so. In time he will most likely come through his midlife transition and out of his depression, but he will not be 'the man you married' any more than you are still 'the woman he married'. We all change over time (and thank goodness for that!). He may, however, be a a more compassionate and mature man once he completes this transition.

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