Will my husband ever come back?

by Eva
(England)

The Question

My husband left me and our two teenage daughters 6 months ago completely out of the blue. He had been bored for 4 years but no-one had seen any evidence of that. We had never had any major problems and I always thought we had a happy marriage.

He had held down 2 full time jobs and studied for a degree over the last 6 years and was totally stressed. He said he needed time on his own but planned to come back. Six months down the line he has now decided he wants out permanently. He has cut himself off from almost every member of his family including his parents. He has his flat a new group of friends and has joined a running club and is training for a half marathon.

He enjoys being single and says he can't stay married and keep his friends one of which is a lady, although he assures me she will only ever be a friend.

He has changed his mind so many times about what he wants. He wants to come back then he doesn't. Now he resents me. Two days ago I told him I couldn't go on any more and he said half of him missed his life with me and half thinks its for the best.

When he does get through this what are the chances he will come back to us, or is this change likely to be permanent. Will he ever realise what he has lost?

Noel's response

I don't know whether he will want to come back when he gets through this. I recommend you figure out what you want, with or without him, and move on in your life. Let him know you will not accept the current situation. If he wants to come back later, you might not want him back.

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