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52 year old hubby I am 56, 16 year old son. Think he is in MLC

by velita

Had a wonderful weekend together, next weekend, Valentines day just got a card signed Happy Valentines no love ... and a big candy bar. Has never not done something for Valentines day. Comments were brief, would kiss him and tell him I loved him, basically got "you too" but no real affection. He went on a diet after college football season, lost a few pounds, now is shaving chest, using eye cream for severe bags under his eyes. We don't sleep in the same bed as I have to be up at 5 for work, him not till 8, because he snores way to much. He decided to make that move a long time ago, before he became distant. He is investing money in penny stock, says this year we need to file separate income taxes after 17 years of marriage. Our monies have always been separate, his choosing in the beginning. I have had to bail him out of debt several times using my teaching salary and my moms inheritance. His career has not gone in the direction he would like. I don't think there is another person, been down that road with a previous hubby, know how to look for that stuff. If there is she is a cigar smoker because he goes and smokes cigars just about every night for 2-3 hours. Our sex life has been lack luster on both our parts, me with menopause and he could use some help as well. I am now on hormones and my has improved, would like to get him on board, but telling a man he could use some assistance in that area is a sensitive thing. He use to refer to sex as making love, now he calls it sex. I don't understand why men take this time so poorly, I mean women deal with the menopause and survive.

Noel's response

It does sound as though he is in a midlife transition. If he is trading penny stocks, it is a good thing your finances are separate. Penny stocks are very risky.

With all due respect, many, if not most, men deal with midlife and survive; and many women have serious struggles during menopause.

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