9 month telephonic relationship ONLY
All my life I am/ have been a man-pursuer. I go for what I want & I am fiercely independent, while simultaneously, I am dependent because I am the sole Caretaker/ Caregiver of my sole, retired parent who pays me in-kind for the "housecat" work I do. My former career as an Executive for non-profit organizations is dead and will never be resurrected because I was horribly underpaid & terribly overworked.
In 2013, I earn LESS than the national average of being POOR. I am 47-yrs-young and a hot, petite woman who is currently undergoing many mini MLCs simultaneously.
My old man nicknamed Boo, is 50 in Dec. 2013. I have known (about) him for 9 months plus. We have never met face to face. :-( Before we telephonically connected, he had plans to return to WI., where I reside (since 2007.) He shared that he desires to raise his 12-yr-old son here in WI versus in MS where he & his son have resided since 2001.
My ex-BFF gave me Boo's number twice before we connected in Nov. 2012. During both of those earlier times, either of us were ready for any of kind relationship.
During the 1st two months of our phone connection, he confessed to me that he is in love with me & that I am his "Jackpot". He shared his visions of our future together through many hours-long conversations over many months. God bless vivid imaginations and secret fantasies!
Although I very well know he is emotionally UNavailable until 2014, I tried on 3 occasions to break up our "ghost relationship." Because I have few friends, especially female friends, he became my best friend during this time.
3 days ago, when sharing my enthusiasm about getting my passport in the mail soon, Boo told me he will NOT be my companion for the week-long, Bahamas
cruise I just booked in July 2013 & one in which he said he was excited to join me when I shared my vacation plans the same day. A month plus later, to say I am devastated is a gigantic understatement!!!
He is UNaware that I have, for the FINAL time am DONE with him for good! His refusal to join me on this cruise was the last deal-breaker for me. :-( During these 9 months, he has been consistently INconsistent, not following through with things he said he was going to share yet FAILED over & over again.
I WAS infatuated with Boo the ghost man who never materialized in the time-frame I prefer, deadlines I gave him = two. Three strikes, nay four, HE IS OUT!!!
My question is, now that I cut him off again for the FINAL time & one in which he is still UNaware: Is my silence to his calls/ texts/ mail enough to demonstrate my commitment to be true to myself & my life desires, goals, etc.? Or is it more authentic to reveal (-) things about him so obvious to me & share lesser aspects about him & his behavior weaknesses that turn me OFF??? Moreover, I am so Grate-Full to him for so many things I learned about myself while "with" him. Maybe I need to share that positive stuff 1st before I tell him "we" are over & the whys behind my decision.
Any advice anyone can share will be deeply appreciated.
Namaste, Ms. MikiNoel's response
I am assuming from your note that you have not told him it is 'over', but have rather simply stopped responding to him. If that is so, I suggest you send him a text or email mentioning some of his positive points, then explaining why you will not be communicating with him any more.