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Breaking Point?

by David
(Hong Kong)

This is thorny.

I'm a western man of 46 years. Never married but have tried with a certain sense of achievement but seem to pick the wrong bride. Committment phobic? My Mom left when I was 3. It took another 20 years till I managed to meet her again, at which point she passed away in a short space of time. (My parent's divorce was very embittered)

My Dad passed in 2013, we were not close, He was 88 - move over Grandpa'! I was the 'Sophomore' Kid. He was 45 when I was born. Right? So it was tough for us with the generation gap and the geographics. We last spoke in 2008, when I'd suggested to come to visit him and he was cantankerous and said he did not want it. I lost it then and felt bereaved for many years. We didn't meet again...

I now wander the path of life(?), relatively lost. But presently jobless, creative background. And lost. Even worse, in Asia. I crave little of anything. Daily sustenance. Shelter and the ocasional beer. My health is a constant anxiety, my vanity somewhat in dissaray and I'm just trying to keep it togoether but feel like lashing out at the world. The success stories, the moneyed and the whole nine yards. But hell, am I lonely! And I just don't seem to see where I can fit in anywhere in this new suposedly 'Second Act'

Is this an MLC? It's 5 years since I felt such anger and I left my partner to rid myself of such burdens. I have no family, live in a transient society and with an admiration for older women.

How can I progress and get back on my feet?


Noel's response

Hi David,

Your situation does sound tough, and the chances are it is made worse by your being in a midlife transition.

I am not sure what to suggest, except to get some psychotherapy from a good therapist who deals with issues of abandonment, which must surely be one of yours. Group therapy might also be very helpful.

I see you are writing from Hong Kong, and I have no idea what the support might be for you there. a quick google search found this Hong Kong Geoexpat community which might be helpful.

Assuming you are in a midlife transition/crisis, it will end in time, but it won't solve all your life issues, but counseling will certainly help.

Good luck!

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