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Cheating husband

What makes a man 54yrs old that has been married for 22yrs, has a daughter that's 34yrs old decide to sneak around with a 33 yrs old.

Noel's response

He may be trying to assure himself that he is still sexually attractive to women.

Also, he is at the age where a man's 'inner feminine' begins to emerge (in Jungian psychology it is called the 'anima'), and many men, not realizing what is happening, suddenly find themselves attracted to younger women, rather than looking at what is happening inside.

Comments for Cheating husband

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Jan 23, 2012
mlc cheating husband
by: jo

I don't like to think I'm in denial. but no matter how many self help books I read. or answers to cheating husbands, why they stray, what they are looking for, if they find it in this lifetime? , if they could love their wives again, sincerely, IF they ever really did. ? I cannot wrap my mind around it Not only that, mine husband told me if that worked for him we wouldn't of. He didn't even know if he wanted to try to work things out with me. why did I stay? this is a very smoking time in a persons life, to get the "speech", or whatever, and was his confession to get me to leave? he told me to so he would quite taking advantage of me. I couldn't. I was married to him for 40 years. and I thought maybe he went insane. since we didn't really argue, we enjoyed plays, bowling , dancing, concerts, grandkids, golf, friends and neighbors, and our kids. I can't think of anything he ever wanted to do, asked and that i didn't encourage him to go through with. I even wished that his other woman had actually not rejected him, cause this all would of been easier, if he were really where he wanted to be, and I had any clue where that was. what can he say now, that the fog blew over, at least this one. what else can a man tell his family, and wife? I'm here thinking what will he plan next, what happened to us, and when will he have the courage to tell me the truth.? when? it hurts because it was what it was. He had an opportunity, got away with it.wanted it never to end, and it didn't work out the way he wanted.

Nov 28, 2011
Very callous comments
by: Anonymous

NWF I totally agree with what you just wrote. That person offered very callous and insensitive advice. I have a friend who offered similar advice to me about what I should do to 'get him back' not her exact words but that was the gist of it. I told her I was willing to do whatever it took but that it went much deeper than superficial fluff. I also mentioned that there was nothing I could do until he showed he was ready to do something other than running away abdicating his place in my life and refusing to believe that I care for him and make our counselling sessions useful. You know that thing? It is called free will. It is not that I have been perfect and he is totally wrong but he is the one that left totally out of the blue although in retrospect i guess it had been brewing. My question to the male advisor why didn't he communicate that he had a problem? Why are men so reluctant to properly communicate in a relationship and why is that ok? I am here willing to work on things he is not. I really hope things work out for you. I feel your pain I cry so much I think I am going to shrivel up.

Nov 27, 2011
Cheating Husband
by: NWF

To the guy who wrote this last response:

If we walked around the house naked and in high heels all day long, who would do the house work, shopping, cooking, take care of the kids, and take as much care or more care of the husband as he does of us. Maybe we should just drop everything so we can boost your ego's! After you boost ours!! We get tired also and need a lot of TLC after making sure everyone else is happy.

Have you ever tried to walk in high heels?? They aren't easy to walk in and neither are our shoes?
Where is your sexy underwear or shoes?? Ever tie a bow in it to please us or make us laugh??

All of this has nothing to do with a man going thru a midlife crisis for crying-out-loud. This is the 3-minute rule: If you haven't heard the story about what men do to their wives while in a MLC, then you do not have the right to chime in here. Take your stupid comments elsewhere. This should be supportive to her--not cutting her down. What he is doing--he is doing and not because of what she is doing or not doing. Maybe he could talk with her before screwing around on her. Her wearing high heels or not is not why her husdband is cheating on her; it is because he lost his self-esteem and dignity and honor!!

I can't believe you said that to this hurting woman!!!

Hugs for the lady here!! NWF

Nov 27, 2011
Cheating Husband
by: Anonymous

look i'm not blaming you at all but have you tried to be more avaible for him? I am a married man for 17 years, always something is coming up,, kids, job, house come on.. what about your man. We men are easy to figure out, we like a woman now and then to take charge. Have him come home for dinner you dressed in only an a pair of heels. i bet you would have a wild time.. We need the attention just as much as you ladies do.. This is why we look and cheat, we love our spouse's but sometimes they forget we are men, not just husband, dads or in my case a provider. I bet if you talked to him with no judgement you could work this out. Best of Luck

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