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by fiona

my partner of 7 yrs has just told me his feelings of love towards me are not the same anymore, he says he feels so unhappy with life that he does not have any social life as we live a few miles from where he is from, well saying that only about 15 but he has never had any motivation to get on with life and text or call them out of the blue to meet up, he has never had much drive to do this but he went away with work and really enjoyed himself and he came back saying he saw what life should be like and that he has not been happy for a while and he needs timeout, he has gone till xmas to try work through it he will still see me on weekends to see the kids but i just dont understand where the love for me has gone or why it has gone. he says he feels so down and depressed and has bad anxiety. i love him to bits and i just dont know what to do for the best, as i really want to help him but on the other hand he hardly texts me and has not called i just dont want to crowd him and push him away.

Noel's response:

I am not sure what to suggest, except to let him work things through, as he is doing, and at the same time look at your own life. Are you happy with where you are and what you are doing with your life?

It sounds as though he is in a major transition, which will end. Chances are your relationship will be different in some way when it does end. It is important that you not have your whole life revolve around him, and that you live a meaningful life yourself, which will help you be a 'fuller' partner for him.

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