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dont want to regret

by george
(Apollo Beach Florida)


I have a great girl friend who is perfect for me but I have a 7 year old boy and his mom wants to give it another try. I am afraid if I don't try and give my son who I love a chance to be with his dad, like I never did, I will regret it. At the same time I will hurt the one who truly loves me, and who will step back and let me do what I want even if it hurts her. Please help.

Noel's answer

How have you and your wife changed since you separated that will give your marriage a chance of success? Are you going to marriage counselling? If each of you has not done something (personal growth/counselling of some kind) to be different than you were before as a couple, it is a pretty sure bet that you will have the same difficulties you had before, and chances are you will not stay together this time either.

Assuming you and your wife do get marriage counselling, so you work out a new way of being in relationship, perhaps it is best to give your marriage a second try. It will certainly be better for your son, assuming you and your wife get along, and don't have all kinds of tension in your relationship.

If you are considering getting back with your wife just because of your son, keep in mind that you son will only be at home for another ten years or so, and you and your wife will have many years together after that.

How does your gut feel when you think about getting back together with your wife? Do you get a sinking feeling? Do you feel good?

If your gut tells you it is a bad idea, it might be best to pay attention, and not get back with your wife, but make sure you spend time with your son regularly anyway.

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