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Getting Married To An Older Man

Hi there.

I am a 20 year old woman and i have been in a relationship with a 50 year old man for 3 years now. for the first year age seemed a problem, we were living in a small town and both well known and had to keep our relationship a secret but he really wanted it to keep going and helped me in so many ways, as i did for him. He told me in the early stages that he wants to marry me. for the past couple of years he has traveled whilst i stayed in town packing my things ready to meet him in a different town and start our life together as an open couple. we have been together just over 3 years now, living together for half of that.

We are very happy in life, my career in getting better and he in making an ok income, financially it has been a bit tight but not too bad, can still afford little extras at the end of the week etc..

My question is, why has he not proposed yet? He knows i don't need a huge gesture, but that i really want to make this step more as a sign of his promising love to me not the big white wedding so its not like its because he doesn't have the money. I guess im just trying to understand what could be holding him back.

Most of his family know about our relationship, as do a lot of my friends who accept it and don't treat us any different, he is comfortable being open about it as am i and he has made it clear that age doesn't matter anymore. He has been married twice before.

Noel's response

I don't know why he hasn't asked you to marry him. Perhaps if you ask him he might tell you.

An unasked-for note of caution I would add is that if you plan to have children, be sure to talk about it with him before you get married, as he is the age where many men are grandfathers.

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