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by Harley
(Toronto, Canada)

The question

I am 49 year's young. I don't want to come off as petty, I know their are many problems in this world. I personally have many problems, just like every one else.

But, I think I am going through a midlife something or other, because when the chips are down, the only thing that lifts my spirits is the thought of owning and riding a Harley. I've alway's had a motorcycle (not a Harley) up until I bought a house, or should I say the house bought me.

It has been eleven years since I got my mortgage (or,the mortgage got me), and eleven years since I owned a motorcycle. For the last five or six years my only material want is a Harley.

If I were to cut out, or, at the bear minimum, cut back on some of my vices (i.e.smoking, drinking), it would obviously be very benficial to my health, and I would be able to make payments on the Harley. It would be a very tight budget, but it is possible. It sounds as if I have it all figured out.

BUT here is the problem, even if I cut back or quit certain things, I am still afraid of buying something (committing to) so expensive. If I were in my teens, 20s, or even 30s, I still would have thought this through, and then purchased the bike.

I have spokem about this with my family, and they are behind me 100%.

What am I afraid of, death? If I was dying, it would be the more reason to buy one. I know I am not afraid of riding.

I would appreciate anyone's comment's, I feel that life is passing me by, and I know what I want to do, but, I don't do it, and I don't understand why.

Noel's response

A couple of things come to mind:

  • what does the Harley represent to you? In other words, what 'feeling desire' is it fulfilling in your life (e.g. feeling free, feeling young, feeling power between your legs, feeling 'cool' because you ride a Harley, etc.)?

  • Does it have to be a new Harley? There have been hundreds of thousands of Harleys sold to aging boomers over the past decade. Many are for sale (a quick check on ebay today shows there are 1286 Harleys for sale, 2004 and newer. Price range from $2000 and up.)

  • When you get to your death bed (it will be too late by then), will you look back an your life and regret that you did not buy the Harley?

  • What is the worst that can happen (e.g. have to sell the Harley and lose a bit of money)? Is it worse than how you will feel if you don't buy it?

You might want to examine your fear of committing. Is it restricted to buying the Harley, or do you have fear of committing to things in general? If the latter, you might want to see a psychotherapist to help you deal with the fear and let it go.


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Mar 25, 2010
Just do it!
by: Retro in Australia

I'm 51 and just discovered this place. I went through the same thoughts a couple of years ago when I bought my first NEW motorcycle.

I'd always got by on and off with old junkers and went through a lot of angst about should I commit so much money to such a purchase.

Luckily my wife was on my side and I went ahead with it.

Best thing I ever did! We have made heaps of new friends, my wife loves going for rides (and I live to make her happy) and we have traveled to places far and wide that we've never seen before. I look at purchases on a value for money basis and this one has been truly excellent (despite the cost).

Having said that, I'm here because after two years the "adrenalin" seems to be wearing off. Still love riding but I feel like I'm looking for more out of life. I read once that when you reach a goal you need another to aim for. I haven't decided on what that goal is and I'm becoming depressed again.

Anyway I'm off to read some of these excellent articles by Noel.

Feb 05, 2010
Go For It!
by: Blindgenealogist

Dear Harley:

You mentioned that you used to ride motorcycle but never a Harley, right? Was it then that you wanted a Harley but never committed to one?

Commitment for a small price to only enjoy for the next ten or fifteen years of your life before you are not able to handle the weight of that Harley.

If your family is behind it 100% in buying one then don't worry about it so much.

I'm 47 and started running about a couple of months ago and my wife accuses me of going through a midlife crisis.

This wanting to have a Harley seems normal.This to me doesn't seem like much for a midlife crisis, unless you go the extreme, God knows what that can be.

So, Harley just go for it. Find that youth of the past, just as long as you don't exclude your most important partner, your wife.

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