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husband leaves...says he is confused but loves me

by steph

my husband and i have been married for 2 yrs, he up and left n packed n one day moved into another house and said we are separated and we don't work and wants time apart or divorce. he ignores me unless he wants to talk or see me or has to see me. he tells me he loves me n wants only me but is confused n thinks this is for the best. i of course don't. i love him more than anything. i just want him back but he says he likes living alone and can come and go as he pleases and do what he wants. i'm so hurt and now i'm confused. i need help before i go insane. he has been moved out now for 2 mths. i had to move out of my house and in with my parents its a there any hope???

Noel's response

I assume you mean is there hope for your marriage, and I don't know the answer to that. Many couples do separate for a period of time at midlife (sometimes it is the man's idea, and sometimes the woman's), and then get back together when the 'confusion' ends. Sometimes they don't get back together.

My suggestion is the same as I have given to many women in similar situations: figure out what you want to do with your life with or without him, and move forward.

I also suggest you not be at his beck and call. You mention that he ignores you unless he wants to talk to you, or has to talk to you. I assume you are always available when he wants to talk, whether it is convenient for you or not. I suggest from now on if he calls and it is not convenient for you to talk, you suggest a time when it will be convenient. As it is now, he can, as he says, come and go and he pleases, etc. and you are sitting there waiting.

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