husband wants to 'live alone' after 41 years together no obvious reason.
For about a year now my husband has been withdrawing from me. He has refused to take any responsibility for helping with the family home. He just wants to hang out with his divorced buddy and play guitars. He told me this summer while on vacation that he didn't want to live with me insisting that I did not love him. His mood was very ugly and hurtful to me. This is totally ridiculous but he was hostile and reacting over anything I said to him. I cannot bring up anything in the real world of finances or things that I am interested in. He is very non-supportive and leaves me alone a lot.
He makes most decisions without even asking or consulting me but I must bear up under the consequences all the same. We have been together for 41 years. I am still working at a part time job and I am 63 and have my own health problems. My adult son 34 finally left home this summer but I still have an adult disabled son here as well as my mother in law living in a basement suite.
My youngest son plans to move back in because he has started university and can't afford his place. My house is falling down around my ears needs lots of cosmetic work and renos and he continues to put money into a vacation property, our kids lives and his own fun.
I feel very betrayed as I have always been faithful and tried my best to work with him over the years. In the past he has been very controlling making all the decisions at first like a knight in shining armor and physically never mean. Now he has emotionally left me high and dry. The only reason he doesn't leave now is because he just has a total hip replacement. He has money through his mom but is currently unemployed and on a medical benefit.
She has a apartment that he plans to move into and she will not get involved or say he can't do that. Meanwhile she lives here rent free although she has been very generous to me recently buying me a car so I have no quarrel that way with her but I am at my wits end. What should I do?Noel's response
He doesn't sound like much of a husband. You don't seem to have many boundaries around him or you grown-up children.
I suggest you get some counseling to help you take a stand for yourself.
Also talk to a lawyer so if he moves out, you are protected as much as possible. You might even have more peace of mind.