Use this search feature to quickly find the information you're looking for.

I am 'in shock'.

The Question

After moving out my husband has completely cut me off, and becomes angry when I try to contact him (not very often). If this is a mid-life crisis, will this pass and will he come back and work on our marriage? He says he was unhappy.

Please help!

Noel's response

He may or may not come back. Your task is to move on with your own life, with or without him. If he gets angry when you contact him, don't contact him, unless it is urgent, and then maybe use a lawyer.

Comments for I am 'in shock'.

Click here to add your own comments

Nov 19, 2011
Find who you are.
by: Tammy from small town in Ga, USA

My husband left me nearly 2 months ago. It feels more like 2 years. He has caused 15 years of marriage to go down the drain. He has hurt me greatly in this ordeal cause I have stuck it out with him all these years while he paid his child support for 4 kids, my kids & I took care of him when he was suffering with his asthma & what bothers me the most is I stood by him while he was mean to my 2 kids & me. And now he does this to me. This has made me very mad. & I have let him know it. He is 56, I am 41. The woman he left me for is 2 years older than him. He looks so old to me now when I see him. She knew he was married so therefore she is a home wrecker. My Dad asked me if I still loved him. I told him yes. My Dad said "Well u need 2 go back to him then cause it is hard not to have the one u love, believe me I know." My Mom died 2 weeks after my husband left me. I told my Dad that I love myself now more than I do him. He made my life miserable and I would be stupid to take him back. He don't deserve me. My Dad said, No he don't deserve you... My life has went on. I am happier now more than I have ever been. I feel more confident about myself and even smarter since he has left me. Now, I plan to divorce him. I am finding me. I am learning what truly makes me happy, life. He left me at the best possible time in my life. My kids are grown. I am letting him go. After all I have have been through with him & he does this to me. He has moved on, I deserve a life outside of goes on, live it & find your happiness in it.

Oct 17, 2011
I feel ya!
by: Anonymous

Seems like there is an epidemic . I guess this is a normal thing for many men! Stay strong and look-out for you and your kids( if you have any) It is a real tough situation! You will make it! Remember the problem is not you!

May 23, 2010
hang in there
by: Bella

Yep, we are all shocked just like you. I know you'll miss him dearly and trying to work thing out. It won't work. I've tried and failed and so many others.

My partner of 10 yrs loves me dearly, even now, we see each other at work almost every other day. He said he wants to let go & stay away from everything except me, it hurts him when we're not together. Despite all of that, he never call me unless for business stuff or for lunch. Other than that, he prefer to be in his own world to find himself again and there's nothing you could persuade him.

So please learn to take GOOD care of yourself, you need to learn to sleep/eat/pay bills/go out/ parenting/...ect.. ALONE. It's sad but it's the truth. You'll be in the depression/anxiety mode for a month and maybe you'll overcome a bit.
I did a lot of online searching and they all advice same thing too, which I've come to conclusion for myself 2 days ago.

I know it's hard but we all will survive. Give him time, 3-6 months if nothing changes then maybe you should let him go so that you could function normally gain.

I'm in the same situation too so I know exactly how you feel. It's easy to say or give advices but it's tough to face daily or hourly.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Ask Noel.