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I let go of my girlfriend

by Imran
(New York)

I am a successful person in every sense of the word. I have a successful business, resourceful and contended. My wife is a career oriented woman, She is on her job that she want to peruse and for last three years she is living in hong kong. I live in US. I love her and want to support her. However in the mean while I got close to a girl, who is half my age, and absolutely stunning. I tried to keep the friendship to good company and good food, basically to have some one to talk to. But she came close and one thing lead to the other and before i knew it I got involved with her. I helped her in forwarding her career. Took care of her financial needs, placed her in a very good job. I tried to convince her that i am not for her, and honestly told her from day one that I am happily married and that it is just friendship. But then she started to insist to get married. To put a long story short, one day we git into an argument and she gave asked me either to marry her right then or it is good bye. In the heat of things I told her that it is good bye, is these are the choices. And to tell the truth i become inclined to merry her. But on that day she coughs me by surprise. I felt so young and energetic when was with her. I really think i fell in love with her. I could not talk to my wife as we live on two different side of world and because of time differences, we some time did not had conversations for months. While this GF was there for me, she talk to me, she was too close. In the end on that eventful day with my GF i was over come by the events and that told her that it is good bye.

She went away, weeping, left me flabbergasted as to what to do, but in my good conscious I could not divorce my wife, regardless that she chose to stay away from me. I thought i will be ruining life of my wife, i will be ruining my GF life, as i am twice her age. My children will also be effected as they have to go through this mess.

However, since she has left, I got to know that she has been engaged with another man in a relationship, and here I am missing her like crazy. I weep every night. I cannot concentrate on my work. At 47 i feel that I had lost love of my life. I feel lonely. Just beg considerate to my family and to do the right thing in my GF life has made me pay. I feel that i am dine. Feel so terrible. Tell me what to do? How to get back on the horse?

Noel's response

Give it time. You will get over her. Arrange to spend some time with your wife as soon as possible. The next time you 'just want someone to talk to', pick a male friend. It will be much less complicated that way.

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