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I need data about MLC to give the court and delay the divorce

by Lorna Cassil

We have been married 30 years - happily. Over a year ago, my husband left me and my girls cut all contact with me. I have been given no reason at all. We had a coffee house and my husband lost all of our money, retirement and put us in major debt. I got very angry, but it was not a relationship killer. He still loved me and thanked God for me. He constantly told me how wonderful I was and that I got better every day. In addition, this is against everything that makes him up. He had a strong faith in God and divorce was always something that he would never consider.

What happened? How could he brainwash my girls into treating me like I'm dead. I have missed my daughters whole senior year of high school. We have always been a loving close family that other people looked to as an example. This would never happen to us. But it did. He left with no explanation or attempt to even try to work things out. He refuses all contact and has filed for divorce.

I need to know some statistics on guys flipping out and leaving their wives against everything they believe. I need to try to delay this divorce by giving the court information on this. Several people have told me that their spouse or family member did the same thing. In every case he eventually flipped back and the marriage was restored. I need to give the court facts so that they will see that it is not him, but something that happens to some men and he will be okay soon. My doctor said there are physical reasons for this. Do you know about the physical reasons for mid life crisis? How should I get my husband and girls back?

Noel's response

I don't know what the physical reasons for midlife transitions are. Around age fifty men usually have a small drop in testosterone production - much smaller than the drop in estrogen production that women experience in menopause. You might ask your doctor what physical causes he is talking about.

As for your desire for data to give the court, I don't know where you would get it, nor whether a judge would pay any attention to it. Even if you found some statistics about men in MLC and divorce, and don't know that the court would agree that what are 'average statistics' would apply to an particular individual (i.e. your husband).

It does seem strange to me that the marriage you say was so loving sees your husband 'brainwashing' your daughters into not even seeing you. Does he refuse to let them visit you? Have you tried going to court to get them back?

If they are now in high school, that are getting to the age where they can make their own decisions. You say you were given no reason for him to leave you and take the girls, but surely you must have a suspicion about the reason?

Sorry I can't be of more assistance.

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