I she a midlife crisis girlfriend?
I have been with my boyfriend for a year. We had a long distance relationship. Though we lived far away, we were part of each other's lives every day - phone calls, text messages, computer chats. We saw each other at least once a month, if not more. When we did spend time together it was for prolonged periods of time - never shorter than 4 days together - the longest being 3 weeks together.
We are extremely compatible. Had many mutual friends. Had many laughs and good times. He is divorced with one child. I made plans to move closer to where he lives. We decided that I would get my own place and not move in together right away. 5 weeks before the big move he sent me an "it's not you, it's me" email. He went on to say what an amazing person I am and that he just doesn't know where he is in his life.
Just a few weeks prior to this email he came into some money and was talking about buying a motorcycle, needing to lose weight, dying the gray in his hair. He also clearly said that there was no other woman and that he loves me and did not want to lose me forever and this is why he had to end things.
I have come to find out that he actually met another, younger, girl who likes to go to bars and drink and party and he is spending all his time with her. However, when we talk he always says he loves me and he has said, on more than one occasion, he does see a future for us.
Is this a mid-life crisis girlfriend he has? Is this even a mid-life crisis? I do love him and I just don't know how to react to all of this. I love him deeply and want our relationship to work but my heart is breaking that he is with this other girl and I don't know if he will come back? Is this girl a passing fancy? They really have very little in common other than she is right there, right now to give him attention and a great going out to party pal with him.Noel's response
You did not say how old your boyfriend is, but it does sound like pretty typical midlife crisis behaviour.
The new girl may be a midlife crisis girlfriend, and it may blow over in a while, and he may come back. In the meantime, you need to figure out how much of this you are willing to put up with, and let him know.