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Left me for another woman

The Question

My husband left me two days before New Years Eve. I was totally shocked. We have two children, son is 19 and daughter is 16, and they are devastated.

My husband is 46, and I am 39, we have been married for 18 years. He said he just was not happy. He is in the building trade and 2009 was really hard work wise, I have now found out he is in massive debt.

The other woman is also 39 and very plain looking. She has now moved in with him. He is renting a house very nearby, the children do not want to know him at all, but he cannot understand why. Do you think this is some kind of mid life crisis?

Noel's response

It sounds as though he may well be in a midlife crisis.

You mention you have found out he has massive debt. I suggest you see a lawyer for two reasons:

  • to make sure you are not in danger of losing your house or other possessions if your husband goes bankrupt

  • to make sure you get a decent settlement if the separation is permanent and becomes a divorce

Some men get through their midlife crisis and ask to return to the marriage. Others don't. You don't know which it will be, but if he does ask to return, you also want to have done some thinking about what you want your relationship to be like. It won't be the way it was before he left.

If he doesn't want to return (or you don't want him to), you want to protect yourself financially in advance.

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