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Married but interested in some one else

I'm 39, married and have 2 kids. I recently met a woman who I cannot stop thinking about. We spoke for about 15 minutes and their was an obvious attraction between the both of us. I've never had such strong feelings for someone in my adult life and this includes my wife. Is this just a mid life crisis or an opportunity to meet my actual soulmate?


Noel's response

It sounds to me that you may be projecting the archetype of "Helen" (the Helen of Troy, or beautiful young maiden) onto this woman. This kind of projection is quite common in both men and women, especially at midlife. I have a deeper explanation of this in my book A Harley Or My Wife.

The danger in this kind of projection is that you are not really seeing the 'real person', but rather the model of the 'perfect mate' (i.e. soulmate) in your mind that you have projected onto her. If you did leave your wife to be with this woman, the 'scales' would fall from your eyes at some point, after the 'honeymoon period' is over, and you would suddenly see she is just a normal human being with her own faults and positive attributes. Many men have gone this route, and discovered too late that they would have been better staying with their wives.
Any person (including your wife) can become your soulmate, if you make the 'inner journey' (usually through personal and spiritual growth) to activate the 'soulmate' within yourself.
Hope this helps a little in your struggle.

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