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Mid life crisis and alcohol and partying

by Romati
(New Jersey )

My 13 year Husband.(we are been together 20 years, 8 as my boyfriend) Has always liked drinking and partying . We have two kids 9 and 5, the old one with developmental issues. Lately he wants his life to change, he is practicing more golf which is not bad, and he is drinking and looking for partying much more. My problem is he is been "nice" and include us in his plans, but what he doesn't realize is alcohol has a stronger effect in him than before and he becomes drunk and aggressive very quickly. If I tell him or ask him to go home and me, I am a horrible wife, who doesn't let him do anything and just want to destroy his happiness.

I can not even talk to him about his drinking when he is sober, he refuse to compromise or to even talk, and as a result he is turning very resentful at me.
My question is: do I stop trying? Should I "encourage" his partying and seem like I am fine with it, hoping he will outgrow it and our relationship is not going to be more compromised, or how do I act?
He clearly has strong feelings about this and is not willing to do anything he doesn't want
Thank you

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Sep 14, 2015
Thank you
by: Romati

Thank you Noel! I will do it! But still I don't get what happens that a good life is suddenly not satisfying any more

Sep 14, 2015
help yourself
by: Noel

Hi Romati,

He may have a drinking problem (i.e. be an alcoholic). whether he does or not, you probably can't change his behaviour by asking him to. I suggest you find an Al-Anon group in your area (a group for people who are married to, or children of alcoholics), and go to some meetings. they will have much useful information for you.

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