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Mid-Life crisis husband cheating..

by Melinda
(Jersey Shore, PA)

My husband age 45 going on 46 who work as a CAT scan technician at Mount Nittany Medical Center in State College, PA has had an affair with a co-worker who work 2nd shift also as an Emergency room Nurse.... He has had the affair with her since May and continued through out the whole summer without me finding out. He was living a double life spending time with me and my family and also finding time for his fling with the younger woman who is 38 and still married. He signed a lease with her for a home in port Matilda, pa on 8/13/2011 in which he said he just did it because she didn't know the landlord and she felt more secure with him signing... he stayed with me and my 19 year old son who is a freshman in college and my 17 year old son who is a senior in high school up until the end of September 26th because he had recently learned that the woman he had the affair with is pregnant.

Then he abandoned us... So in one day before I started a new job i hit the bank to clean the accounts out, went to secure an attorney, and went to domestics to secure what is owed to me because through the devastation he has caused to myself, and my sons he thought I was going to be civil with him when it came to child support, and spousal support.

Boy was he wrong and after 22 years of my life with him and 25 years together my family has been ripped apart. He was living a double life spending equal time with myself and the woman he was having an affair with.. He told me he fucked up his life and now he has to pay for it the rest of his life. What did I do wrong in this relationship?? Everyday he kissed me on the lips and told me he loved me when leaving the house... Confused in PA

Noel's response

Only you can answer your question as to whether you did anything wrong. In my experience, when things go wrong, both people have a part in it. As for the action you took - cleaning out the bank account and hiring an attorney - I think that is a wise move.

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