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Moving on

by Elisa

My husband experienced his MLC and engaged in an emotional affair with a much younger coworker. We decided to stay together and work things through. One of my conditions was that he transfer jobs to avoid her. He has since transferred and his new place has a lot of challenges. I know this new place is tough for him and sometimes I think he may be better off going back to his other place. Should I allow him to go back? I know things are tough where he currently is. He has not even mentioned this possibility to me. I don't want anything else to happen with him and his former coworker.

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Jul 02, 2016
Moving on
by: Elisa

Both places are an equal distance from home. The thing is with the new place he doesn't know anyone and no one knows him. He is not the most social of creatures.
He did admit to me about a month ago that the reasoning behind what he did was that he felt young being around this person. I get that. I felt that when he said this, it was a huge step in the right direction. I just don't know about him returning to work with her. It has come up in conversation recently, about transferring, and he has said he would go elsewhere (further from home). He had a nice set-up where he was initially but then he went and got himself involved with someone. From what he has shared this person had no interest in him. It still makes me leery. And I have to admit that I wonder about him connecting with someone at the new place - I guess that is just fear and the trauma of what he has done already getting the best of me.

Jun 29, 2016

by: Noel

It is a tough question. You don't state whether his new work is in the same town, or what the challenges are. Will the challenges become easier for him over time if he remains where he is? How is your marriage now? Are you reaching a new equilibrium?
'Geographical cures' such as you imposed as a condition for staying together usually work for a time, which allows conditions between you and your husband to reach a new level of satisfaction in your marriage. If you have reached a new level, he is likely to have gotten over his infatuation with the younger woman.

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