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My "Ex" said he needed to think and hasn't talked to me in 3 weeks.

by Beth

We have been together 4 yrs, living together the past 2. We have had some issues such as my insane jealousy and pushing issues all the time, my emotional and verbal abuse toward him at times.

(My stress of him being laid off) He said he was going to move to get some things in order in his life and that we would still see each other, date, etc. He always said he loved me and although we didn't see each other a lot because of the distance now, we kept in communication.

I found out 3 weeks ago he was seeing someone for approximately 1-2 months. The 3 of us had a confrontation after the GF called me and questioned who I was. He ended up telling me 2 days later that he changed his number (which he gave to me) and we talked for the next 3 days. He told me he needed to think about things, and that he didn't know what he wanted at this point. I told him I understood he needed time and asked if he wanted me to never talk to him again...he said he would call.

He also said he was thinking about getting back together but was afraid of the same thing happening again. He told me he loved me and would call. I heard from him later that evening via text. After that night, it's like he has fallen off the face of the earth. I haven't heard a thing from him since. No text, calls, emails nothing! Why would he change his number 2 days after he was caught cheating and give it to me and why would he just abruptly with no warning stop communication?

I have no idea where he is and I don't know what to do. I've avoided calling as much as I can but I am sick over this. The whole thing is odd. Please advise

Noel's response

I suggest the first thing for you to do is see a therapist to help you deal with your insane jealousy and pushing issues. If you don't do that, you will continue to exhibit the same behaviour in any relationship you are in, and that will drive any future partner away.

Re you 'ex', I would consider him gone, and move on with your life. If he gets in touch with you in the future, especially you have dealt with the issues mentioned above, you may find you are no longer interested in him.

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