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My husband of 19 years (26 together)told me 4 months ago he wasn't happy anymore in our marriage (same story as all the rest) and wanted out. Great marriage up until this point. Now he just wants to find happiness again, which of course means another woman. He pretty much told me he wants an active sex life, but not with me, apparently.

He is obsessed with aging and I'm sure he is in a MLC, but what confuses me is he has not brought up the divorce since that night. In the beginning he did a little running around and acting manic.
Now he doesn't go anywhere, is very nice to me (never was angry) and acts like everything is just normal.
He has stopped having sex with me so I know he has to be ready for something.
I've flirted with him and tried to get him in the bedroom but nothing works. I know this would help our situation because I know that is important to him. It's like he's just waiting around to bump into someone else, but is not actively seeking it.
How do I get this man in bed? I know this sounds stupid but our sex life was always so good and he knows it too, but yet is pushing me away. Saying I never really loved him. Am I being punished by him staying away from me?
Driving me crazy. Any ideas?

Noel's response

It sounds to me that you need marriage counseling as much as you need time in the bedroom. I don't know whether he is punishing you, but clearly he is going through something, as if, as you say he is worried about aging he may well be in a midlife transition.

If he is unwilling to go to counseling with you, about the only thing I can suggest is that you hang in there with him while he goes through this.

You didn't mention whether you and he are able to talk about things, but if you are, you might let him know how you are feeling about sex (i.e. you would like some) and ask whether he is willing.

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