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Reunion and Reconnected

(Greensboro, NC)

After 42 years of marriage and loving this man since I was 16 he has reconnected with the woman he dated in high school before me. She drew him out by telling him she had avoided him for 46 years because "we" had hurt her so much. I found disturbing emails and inquired. We started marriage counseling because I thought he really wanted to work on some problems and go into our retirement with a greater relationship. I've since found out that he calls her prior to the appointment and as soon as he leaves and reports every detail of the marriage counseling appt. to her. She is encouraging him to leave me, to protect himself financially, legally and technically on the computer. He opened two secret email accounts. I managed to get into them long enough to copy and print enough incriminating emails to prove infidelity. She is married and says her husband is aware that she is "helping" my husband but I feel quite confidant that he has not seen the emails I've seen. We have a 38 year old mentally challenged/hearing impaired daughter, a 29 year old daughter who is bipolar and a daughter in the middle who has completed two degrees and doing well. Words are coming from his mouth that I've never heard him utter such as "controlled" "hamster on a wheel" "kept in a box". When I read the emails those are phrases she has used. He would make love to me and then go and email her for hours. We were looking forward to retirement, traveling and bass fishing more, even bought a new boat. He has moved to the basement bedroom, installed a lock on the door and hides the keys. He is up half the night emailing her, and calls her constantly. I don't know where to go from here. How do you stop loving someone you have loved for 46 years? But then, if he returns to me, how do I trust someone who has betrayed me on so many levels?

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