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Signs of a Midlife Crisis

Question: What are the typical signs of a midlife crisis?

Noel's Answer: First let me say there is a difference between a midlfe crisis, and a midlife transition. You could say a crisis is a 'transition gone bad' :-)

I will describe some conditions of a midlife transition, and for it to be a crisis, it usually means it is causing serious problems in your personal life, often involving relationships, (leaving, or being left by, your spouse is typical).

A midlife transition often starts as a vague feeling of disatisfaction with your life. Perhaps things you used to be passionate about suddenly lose their appeal, and you don't know what WOULD interest you.

You might feel as though your life is drab, and that your family takes you for granted. I have had many letters from men saying they feel as though their wife and children just see them as the 'drudge that pays the bills'.

You begin to notice you don't have the physical stamina you used to have, and it is easier to gain weight, and harder to lose it than it used to be.

You notice it takes longer to heal when you have an injury, even a relatively mild one.

Sex with your spouse may begin to seem boring and routine, and perhaps you have had an occasion or two of impotence, and it is worrying you.

You may feel more irritable. Small things that never used to bother you suddenly make you angry. Irritability can also be a symptom of depression in men as well.

Perhaps you are feeling some anxiety about the future, or just a general low-grade anxiety about your life in general, and don't know why.

Those are some of the general symptoms of a midlife transition, and as I mentioned, if they are very strong, it is a midlife crisis.


Comments for Signs of a Midlife Crisis

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Jan 08, 2011
by: Anonymous

my husband has left me for another woman who he says he has only known for 6 months and is moving in with her. he says he loves me like a sister. he had a bit of a breakdown 2 years ago. do you think he is going through a mid life crisis and do they normally come back?

Jul 13, 2010
Why are affairs part of MLC
by: Anonymous

Why is it that most men have either emotional affairs or full blown affairs during MLC???

Noel: I don't know that MOST men do, but many do. I believe there are several reasons:

1. they are looking to affirm their desirability (they have noticed they are aging), and a younger woman being attracted to them is reassuring.

2. Their sexual relationship with their wife is routine, boring, or non-existent. Often women in menopause lose their sex drive completely and/or gain a lot of weight, and stop looking after their physical appearance.

3. The man projects the 'mother' archetypal image onto his wife (I explain this further in a new book I have coming out within a month), and he projects the 'Helen' (as in Helen of Troy) archetype onto the other (often younger) woman. He really needs to be developing his inner feminine rather than projecting it outside himself.

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