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Unhappy in Indiana


My husband and I have been together since we were 14 and 15 years old. We had our first of two children at 18 and 19 and shortly got married, we have been married 17 years now.

It was great in the beginning!! Five or six years ago he started talking and meeting woman on the internet a year after that he had an affair with a girl we went to HS with. For the past few years he has a problem with having "friends" that are woman and staying up late texting them. His latest "friend" is a girl at work. He says he loves me and wants nothing more than to be married to me, but he sees nothing wrong with what he's doing and he lies all the time.

I am very unhappy and think about leaving all the time, but I can't make myself do it and it's killing my self esteem. He has been diagnosed with bi-polar and has been taking medication but it hasn't seem to influence his need for attention from other woman.

Noel's response

As you can see if you have read the many other submissions from women in similar situations, you are not alone.

It is possible that because you had children and got married when you were so young he feels he 'missed out' on experiencing relationships with other women, and is exploring that now. However, that does not excuse his behaviour.

I recommend marriage counseling if he is willing to go. If he is not, you might want to get some counseling for yourself to help decide whether you do want to stay in your marriage.

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