Use this search feature to quickly find the information you're looking for.

What Older Women Want

by Joey

I am 60 and a widow. My husband (age 70) was sick for 15 years and always felt bad that he could no longer perform in bed & upset that he couldn't do more around our home. I was so tired holding down my job and doing everything around the house, I told him truthfully that sex was not thought of very often. By now, my libido has slowed down too. Your site really helped me understand what the males are going through in their midlife. It must be noted that I have experienced much of the same emotions, maladies & confusion that the men have experienced. So you see - women & men are not very different when aging. Same fears, loss of health etc., which naturally leads to depression & of course, who wants sex when you feel lousy. My advice is to see a doctor. Maybe you just need antidepressant meds. Get off your butt. Quit feeling ashamed or sorry for yourself. Have fun, even though you can no longer perform in bed or no longer want to. You are a viable human being with much of life's experiences. We older women, want you wonderful creatures even though you can not have sex or have lost interest in sex.

I was discussing your site with widowed women friends over 65. They made comments about what they wanted in a man ....maybe this will help the guys understand there is hope for them if they have low or no libidos.

What women want:
More friendship/companionship w/o sex. Loneliness effects both sexes. NO one needs to know that you are not interested in sex but keeping a lady around will keep them guessing.

They want a man to help around the house w/o sex. Doesn't a man want to feel needed? Give your helping hand to others. You will feel better about yourself.

Cuddling & being close to a man was a real want but w/o sex. If you take your time with a woman, get to know her, she will trust you and feel completely safe when with you. Then she will be more receptive to having sex, if you so desire. And if you can not complete a sex act, an older woman will understand,especially if you discussed it before time. Sure it is the last thing a man wants to discuss but to live life to the fullest, one must bite the bullet. She will admire your truthfulness.

Comments for What Older Women Want

Click here to add your own comments

Sep 15, 2017
by: Anonymous

my husband been sick for years i been sleeping around with black men and dam it's great. My first three some was wild with two black men they took control and never stop. I'm 53 and still rocket it
i'm still married he does not now and that ok he would love for me to go no with my life.

Dec 19, 2016
old horndog
by: D. J. Flowers

I am a male, just turned 81. Divorced for 15 years. Have had a few encounters , but , nothing serious. Not looking for long term, ( at 81 can't be to long) What I am looking for is a Mature lady , well built, extra pounds perfect. I am very into sexual needs. Love oral , the Lady must want the same. Am a big boob man, love suckling and fondling. I am a terrific kisser, been told. My description . 5 9 164 salt and pepper hair, light beard . Once told I was a horney teenager in the sack. Hope their is someone out there looking for same. Never two old for Love.

Dec 07, 2016
It can still be good beyond 85
by: Anonymous

Even as a "young" man of 45 I preferred women of my age or older. I have both showered and slept with attractive women without putting the make on them. In every case it was they who pursued me afterwards. Perhaps it was because I wasn't like the other needy and pushy guys they had interacted with before. They felt comfortable with me.

An old guy friend who always had women after him gave me a great pointer. He said to compliment the plain ones because they weren't used to it. But ignore the queens and princesses and they invariably would doubt themselves and would make a play for the guy to reassure themselves they were still desirable. Oddly, many knockout beauties consider themselves as plain and constantly crave reassurance. Go figure.

Consider yourself the chasee, rather than the chaser and you will be surprised at your success.

Also, after extended close cuddling and slow sensuous body kissing, caress her inside upper thigh areas. You will likely discover that she is slippery moist. Let her see you stick your finger in your mouth and slowly remove it, complimenting her on the taste of her wetness. Then go directly to the source. Let her know that her orgasmic pleasure is a greater gift for you than your own orgasm. Keep your lovemaking slow and sensual. She will reward you more than you know.

Mar 06, 2015
My Date After 47 Years Of Marriage
by: Ed

I lost my love of 47 years to brain cancer. We were so different, but loved each other until her last breath. When we married I was 19 Karen was 18, we had dated for 4 months before marrying.

I reconnected with an old friend from 40 years ago. The four of us had been friends, now the two of us are toghether. I told her, when it comes to dating I remember how it was at 19, but have no idea how it is today.

We now have my life, her life and our life, with our life being the flexable part. She told me of another man she was seeing, but asked for time to resolve the relationships.

The reality was difficult to accept but her honesty was great. I was afaird of losing her, but she said not to worry.

I have no problem with committment, I want her heart, her love, and if her body comes after that fine. I can deal with ED then. Its not about sex, its about love and being close. Its about being clumsey after years with a loved one.

Know yourself, what you want, what you can accept, and be certain what you see and hear are real not just the replay of old thoughts and tapes, if in doubt ask questions.

I can't believe I feel this way again about another woman, I am the luckiest man on earth

Oct 10, 2014
Women over 60 crave Sex
by: Joe

I am a 56 y.o. male.(single). I have sex with women 60 & over often. They are smart, beautiful, keep themselves fit,with energy better than 50 y.o. women. I enjoy the company of "E", she is petite, clever and actually seduced me one evening three years-ago. She asked me over to watch a movie, hang out and then offered me wine, it all started out innocent, until she decided to move close and kiss me, she said she hadn't touched a man in five years and tired of playing with herself, she wanted to have Oral sex with me, so I agreed and we went as far a intercourse. She also introduced me to two of her girlfriends who I also have sex with. The women are straight, the aren't interested in a serious relationship, they just want to feel a man next to them. I have traveled with each of them to the Caribbean Islands, NYC, Chicago, They keep me busy and its been fun. I haven't met a younger woman who can compare to the sexual pleasures and experience of these three ladies, so I will continue to enjoy the pleasures of three classy ladies. Bottom Line: Older women love sex, they like a man who isn't a couch potato, a man who enjoys the casino, dancing, entertainment and affection.
So go for it. Sex is good and for men Sex is excellent at keeping the prostate healthy according to the Three Sexyteers.

Aug 18, 2014
I"M a horny male
by: David M

I love oral and all positions you can think of. I will be a loving person as well as someone that enjoy just holding some-one

Feb 19, 2014
Oral sex
by: Anonymous

Women highly desire more oral sex, licking, being eaten out. It is more pleasurable to me. Much more.

Feb 28, 2012
Communicate Before and After Sex
by: Joey

The whole idea of my posting is to get men and woman to communicate. Many woman want a Prince Charming but come on ladies - no man or woman is perfect. At our age, we all have baggage. But unfortunately, the reality is that we feel we must settle for who ever comes along. Don't do it! Wait for the right one. It is true, we want a clean, well dressed man and it would be nice for him to have some money. I would feel guilty if you take me out and I knew you had a limited income. With today's econmy, going Dutch is okay. Afterall, most of us are really looking for companionship and love.

I am not sure about your comment on abandoning a woman after sex. Sounds like you want a one night stand, which for some people that works. Most people our age want more than just casual sex. After divorce or widowhood, men and women feel vulnerable, lost, lonely or even horny. At this point, in our lives, we are usually scared to get back in the dating scene. The new rules of dating have really changed. Communication is the key to getting every thing right.

There is a a question of the strikes against us older gals. We seem to age less gracefully than a man. We have had children, a hysterectomy, stretch marks and gravity plays havoc on our bodies too. Do everyone a favor and keep the lights down low for any sexual encounter. After a long spell of NOT having sex, we wonder how we can let a man see us naked? I was so afraid that I couldn’t perform or that I would break down and cry. Guys, be sensitive and gentle with a woman the first time you are going to have sex. A woman has to feel relaxed. Make a woman feel special with lots of hugs and kisses. Tell her what you like about her. During sex, if you need her to move a certain way, tell her! Maybe you would like to have her wrap her legs around you, well then, tell her. We can’t read minds. Bring her to an orgasm first and you can be assured she will ask you back. Tell her, come on honey, let go. I will not hurt you. Give me all you got! Don’t forget to bring a small bouquet of flowers once in awhile, even if you pick them yourself. We all want and need to feel cherished. Same goes for the gals too. Make him a great dinner or take over a sweet treat so he feels special too.

Dec 22, 2011
What I see women over 65 want in an older man
by: Anonymous

Mostly, I hear and see women over 65 wanting their older men to be healthy, neat, clean, look like they have teeth, sober, humorous, agreeable, with great personalities and love to have fun. they want them to at least look financially secure. Their men must love to kiss, snuggle and laugh. They still want to feel safe and secure with the man. If sex is to be included and the woman needs it, she should give the usual signs- and the man should be forthright, but polite about it, take lots of time with her and do as they desire with follow up. Finally, he must abandon her after the act unless she wish to reject him (men hate being led on, used and then kicked out the door- which in case she must be at least forthright and gracious.)
Perhaps love will blossom.

Jul 06, 2011
Good Advice For All Who Date
by: Joey

I am a widowed female (age 60) who easily passes for 45. I want to comment on some of my dates with men near my own age. Where is your morality? Now that you males (age 50-65) are single, you seem to be going crazy for sex. It is like you are trying to make up for lost time.

In my experience, most of you do not want a loving relationship. Those males only want what they call, F.B. (friends with benefits). Boy, does that ever make a women feel like a whore! I am no prude but come on??? Most women need to feel loved & cherished not used like a piece of meat. Wake up guys!

Give up the darn male enhancement drugs. It seems to make all you guys crazy. GO SLOW & be respectful - Take your time with us old gals. Let us get use to your touch ? hold our hands or snuggle us gently. Remember, most of us gals have been in monogamous relationships for decades and it feels odd to be with another man. And that could work the other way for the guys too.

We need time to adjust, could be a few weeks or a few months, depending on her/his age. After you feel your lady is relaxed, assure her you are happy being with her. Tenderly ask, ?Where do you see our relationship going?? After you get the answer, tell her you are ready for the next step (do not mention the word, sex). She will know what you are talking about. But just in case, if she looks confused, ask her if she would mind being intimate soon? Oh and do take precautions. At our age, the woman may not get pregnant but there is a question of STDs (sexually transmitted diseases).

Once you commit to each other, both of you should agree to go for a blood test to prove you have no STDs. That would be a fair & loving thing to do for your partner, especially if you have had unprotected sex with others or visited prostitutes. The test results are available within days. Bring the results for each other to read, that way a full trust can be established immediately for a committed relationship.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Ask Noel.