Use this search feature to quickly find the information you're looking for.

When he can't give you one specific reason why he needs space, could it be he is in the midst of a mid life crisis.

by June

My boyfriend of one year who's turning 50 in a week, all of a sudden asked for space to figure himself out? When we first ran into each other, (we graduated high school together and hadn't seen each other in 31 years) he could only continue to squeeze me with the most amazing hugs and kisses and say I haven't felt like this in a long, long time. He then was anxious to meet my family and was texting me for a couple of days prior to say he was nervous and hoped he made a good impression. My family loved him! I have 2 boys and he has 3 daughters. Mine are minor children and his are grown and out of the house. He told me one night that his mother wanted to meet me, she lived out of state and was going to be coming in. He had also been on his daughters to come up to the bowling alley to meet me. He kept asking them until they came. His one daughter is out of state also and when she came in it was very important to him that we meet. For about 8 months every thing was amazing. Both families loved us, our kids accepted. He carved pumpkins, took my son to cub scouts, played Santa and the Easter bunny, and gave my parents a gift card at Christmas addressed to Mom and dad? His daughter got married that eighth month and shortly after the wedding he started acting strange. Told me he needed to figure himself out, that it wasn't me it was him. I had questioned him from about 3 days in to the relationship that I thought he might run because my kids were younger and his reply was no that is not an issue at all. ( He actually asked if I wanted to take them out to dinner with us the first time he came to take me to dinner).

His first excuse for the space he wanted was the kids, he said "I thought I could do it? I already raised mine." I told him it wasn't a matter of him being able to he had already proved that, it was a matter of whether or not he wanted to. We continued to see each other and then he told me it was another women but she was married. He still kept texting me to go out and one night we were back at his house and I flat out asked him "are we waiting for her to decide if she is going to leave her marriage to move on or what?" His response was "What?, we're just friends, then went on to explain that it now had to do with the woman he dated for 5yrs after his divorce. Said he was very confused because he had 5yrs with her but now after a year he loved me? I am really wondering if this is all a mid life crisis since he can't stick with one reason why he wants space? I don't think he is seeing anyone, nor do I think any of his reasons had any merit? When I finally told him I had to let go he said "sorry my feelings haven't been there, keep in touch as I will do the same?" He has texted me since and has said "took time to think over the weekend and I was not a very good boyfriend, (he was the most amazing boyfriend anyone could have), sorry again, not sure reason for change of heart. U deserve better & can find better." He still continues to text me to see how I'm doing . It's like he doesn't want to completely let go? I believe he is really struggling with his thoughts of where he wants to be in his life right now?

Noel's response

I think you are right... he struggling with where to go with his life. I can't suggest anything you can do to help.

Click here to post comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Ask Noel.