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Why did my wife and daughter leave me after 20 years of marriage

by Chandrachur
(Hampshire, UK)

My wife 43 (married to me for 20 years) and daughter 17 after having ignored me (not speaking to me) for a period of 6 months for no obvious fault of mine, decided to leave me.

I have no extra marital affair, do not drink and have been 100% committed to family life. Being an ex Naval guy I am a disciplinarian and have penchant for academics. Have always promoted high goals and supported my daughter in every possible way.
When questioned, all my daughter and wife say is that they want freedom, freedom to do whatever they like. I constantly kept pleading that they could do what they liked by staying in the family. I was and am still prepared for any changes they like, but they both are not interested.
In retrospect I might have been a bit strict with my daughter in asking her to follow a timetable for studies, as she wanted to prepare for Medicine. Is it wrong to ask your school going daughter not to wear short dresses?
I have never taken a single penny from my wife's wages. Yes, I have changed jobs and have done physical jobs at times, though I am now for the past two years in a permanent well paying white collar job, I am proud of everything I have done.

But suddenly for the past 6 months, my wife who seemingly always adored me has called me rude words, and labels me as LOSER - very harsh for someone who had designed his very existence around her. She claims she is ashamed that for 6 years of my life, I worked as a nurse - not having a permanent job I qualified as a Nurse from Uni and worked as critical care nurse in NHS hospital - I AM PROUD OF IT. No job is low or menial in my view
Confused, lonely and broken sums up my existence. I don't know what should I do? Not keen on entering in a relationship with anyone. My daughter and wife are not in touch for the past one month and have made it clear by not sharing their address that they do not want me anymore in their lives. What should/can I do?

Noel's response

I don't know what to suggest except to take what lessons you can from this situation and move on with your life. Counseling might help you figure out where to go from here.
The New Warrior Training Adventure might also be useful in your situation. Call a contact at the website to learn more about it. There are trainings in the UK.

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