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wife, mistress relationship

by cristopher orduna
(baguio city,philippines)

am always feeling guilty living with my live-in partner we have 5 children and im tired of pretending that i love her. I am seeing another woman who is much much younger only to ruin the relationship because of guilt that i,m wasting her chance to find someone who is more willing to go the extra mile.

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Jan 12, 2012
by: JO

I'm the wife. wish I were the girlfriend. he tried to make her his girlfriend, mistress, she didn't want anything to do with it, I'd give my all, she couldn't get rid of him fast enough. weird. I wonder about this "confusion" this lost feeling MLC roots in so many: love, lust, crush, obsession, infatuation? my thoughts race every night, every waking moment. large ego they feed--I guess so. all I know is love, you don't give up on someone you love. won't ask"do you know how it feels to love someone, want they to love you more than you want anything else in life?" he does know how that felt ,when she dumped him. she was a histrionic personal disorder, siren, Jezebel, actress, vamp, voodoo witch, Demon. does that help me ? no. her game: down pat; h raspy breathy voice, wanna be fakey come on, approachable, yet letting you join the chase. maestro in bed, good badgirl, femmafatale, everything an old man wants: trophy wife! help me here, what exactly is that ? young sexy flirting somewhat smart, smart enough to know her game. coworkers said,"she's weird ,inappropriate." he saw "free spirited. she didn't count on him caring . she dumped him turned into a viper, (black widow--) chewed him up spit him out enjoyed it.. Reality check.. I recalled all the selfish, sinful things I've done. I have prayed for 4 years for direction , for God to support u-turns, for our hearts to get right, for him to think an old man's dream might be for an old woman to love him she was his old man's dream, his "sick fantasy" 9(her fantasy come true). show-off, director of the stage act, and she was the star; confident, sassy mean, moral less." When she walked into a room she owned it. made every man feel special" he was proud, grateful, that's what he felt. that's what he remembers. a life time isn't long enough to convince him of anything he hasn't already convinced himself of. the smarter, more self assured a man is the more impossible it is to make sense of anything other than what he convinced himself of. if she slammed his fingers in the car door--he'd grin tell her he knew she didn't mean to he'd reassure her he would be alright. couldn't of been too bright, cause she could of took him for everything he had or would ever have, wanted for nothing, except freedom. she would of had to try n talk the others in the lounges, lobbies, or plants to experience some fun, though she was ready to pleasure herself. someone who everyone else has been with, girls& guys. there was life, a job, family , hobbies, plays, friends, neighbors, concerts, church, others pain& complications. when does a man find time to deceive, lie, skeem, rearrange his life ?

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